Why Are So Many Mid-Life Gay Men Getting HIV?

Another Perspective in Layman Terms

Written by Anthony Howard

Although we, in society, should respect those that have been taught to researc h and study the mind and actions, cause and reactions of human beings; we also should challenge the thought as well to make sure that Doctors are not preparing a way to introduce a new drug therapy for the pharmaceuticals.

Let me explain.

What is rampant in gay culture? Obsession with beauty, the need and desire to fit in, random expressions of sex and sex partners, and not becoming old.

I don't mean to over simplify but I think we can all agree these are the major six. With these in mind I would like to provide my perspective.

1980's to mid 1990's was still a very hush hush time for being gay. Yes there were people dying of AIDS but they were doing so secretly. All of a sudden you didn't see someone around because they went into hiding. To somewhat deal with the death reality in dignity and in private. Maybe someone in their social circle would see them out on a random doctor visit or shopping at a local store and then the word would get out . . . So and so looks "sick". Then the sudden whispers of "Did you hear that so and so passed" and everyone would be torn up and upset and the following question would be, "Did he have it?"

I congratulate those that were able to have the privilege to help a loved one through the sickness and the stick-to-itiveness to be there to the end.

But my wide circle's experience is that everyone kept it to themselves. So we stopped having sex because you didn't know who had it. Why are so many Mid-Life gay men getting HIV? Because they're out there catching up on the lost time of being abstinent. Our age group is one of the most handsome of it's kind. We have more money, we're more fit, and we're looking younger and so we're able to have sex more often than not with those young men that are just coming out and learning the game of "love and lust" in gay society.

I bet there is a rise of younger men (16 to 24) who are getting HIV that is parallel to the rise of our age bracket.

The connection is that we're having sex with each other. And yes, although we know about safe sex, it's not pleasurable sex. It's so... sterile, distant, and clean and sex wasn't meant to be that way. In no way am I condoning unsafe sex but I'm just saying what the majority is being quiet about. It's not psychological or trauma. It's plain ol' fashioned lust.

What needs to be promoted more is not how beautiful the body is.

Advertisements are showing guys with dropped wasted jeans or underwear with chiseled abs and engorged bulges and innocent smiles and it tells you that you must meet up to this to be desired and this is what you should desire.

So everyone is chasing this image and the constellation prize is we should have sex with each other because we reached the image or why else did we try so hard to be this particular image?

So please don't let the next article be about a new drug for post traumatic stress disorder for gay men in their mid-life crises but let there be some ads for Gay men that show men in real bodies. We're paralleling the same stress rates that women felt for years and years of trying to own up to an image that is not realistic for the masses. Promote happy relationships, promote gay men being active in their communities as positive (pardon the
pun) roll models in society as in mentoring young gay men without having sexual intentions. Show couples that are monogamous and building a family structure. And maybe... just maybe you help the next generation going through mid-life crisis and see that they're more stable and confident in their image and in whom they are and tend to strive to be in a familial arena instead of still single and seeing how many conquests can be achieved.

This is just a layman's perspective.

Anthony Howard is just a man who lives with his lover monogamously and just didn't want to hear or see another commercial for some pill that will fix something else that is wrong with us. Can we stop fixing the symptoms and go right after the cause?